For the Best
by DeciverOfTheNight
Summary: After his change Ciel hated life. Sebastian hated him, and he was getting sick. All Ciel wanted was to sleep


Ciel hated this first few months of his new demon life were unbearable, it mainly was because the butler that he once loved was acting so cold to him. It wasn't his fault that Alois was a conniving bitch of a man. He was more then willing to give his soul up to Sebastian when the contract was full filled. If anything it was his fault for letting Claude get his soul in the first place.

"Master, we have arrived." Sebastian stated getting out of the carriage to wait for Ciel. Paris, the city of love. How ironic, Ciel couldn't help the sinister smirk that spread across his face. Taking a look around the busy street he noticed there was a bakery shop not far from him. Yum, french pastries. Without looking at his butler Ciel walked down the cobble stone road. Entering the shop he was hit with the smell of sweets and bread.

"Hello, young boy! What can I get for you?" The man was about mid forties at least. Stepping in front of the shelves of sweets, Ciel stared. What do I want? Ah ha, yes. Grabbing a Tarte Caramel Salé he walked up to the man.

"How much?" He asked digging in his pocket.

"Oh that will be 2 franks, please my young sir." The shop keeper says happily. Handing the money over Ciel left the store. Breaking a piece off he walked further down the road, but now he felt his 'oh so loyal' shadow behind him. They were quite as they walked. Ciel would enter stores look around then leave, Sebastian ever so faith fulling behind him. Soon the city grew dark yet Ciel still walked around not wanting to go back to their hotel, where Sebastian would feed him, then coldly leave him to rest.

"Master, we must head back now. You need to eat." There it was, the icy tone and the under layer of death.

"Fine." Ciel turned on his heel and began the walk towards the hotel not even bothering in remembering where the hell the carriage was, it wasn't his problem. Within a half an hour he made it back by himself, Sebastian left to fetch the carriage. The walk to his room was boring. Their suit was large it held a living room, a bathroom, and two simple bedrooms but only the master room was with a balcony. Entering the bathroom he turned the faucet on letting the porcine tub fill with hot watching the steam rise he began to feel sick. Racing over to the toilet he spilled his guts. Emptying his stomach of his earlier sweet he flushed and rinsed his mouth out, it angered him that he was no longer able to stomach solid foods. Slowly slipping out of his clothes, he was pleased how easier it was now than 5 months ago. Ever since Sebastian's infamous murder attempt he began dressing and bathing himself. He wasn't able to get over that, his 'loyal' butler tried to kill him.

"I was only seeing if you were a demon my lord." That is what he said, and he said he nevered lied. Ha! That was a lie and so was everything he ever said. Slipping into the hot water was great. The water relaxing his tense musculus. He stayed still allowing the water to work it's magic. After a while he began to clean himself.

After a long and well needed bath, the young earl got out of the cooling water. Grabbing a towel he wrapped it around his waist and left the bathroom leaving everything as it was. His butler will clean it, it was his job anyways. The room had cream colored walls with a wooden cherry bed frame and a champagne colored bed set. Walking in the room he snapped his fingers and the candles lit. Opening the matching dresser he pulled out his night shirt. Letting the towel drop, he was putting his arms in their place when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." He called, starting the buttons.

"Master, I have your meal." Sebastian said rolling in a cart with food on it. Ciel turned around his buttons half way done showing a good portion of his pale chest. Maybe if I'm lucky he would have put some demon poison in it, like it would matter I still wouldn't be able to keep it down Ciel thought. Laughing out loud he walked towards the cart.

"What is it you find so amusing my lord?" Sebastian asked raising an eyebrow at the younger demon. Ciel kept a small amused smile picking up his teacup and raising it to his lips. Taking a sip he relished in the flavor of mint.

"Nothing that concerns you Sebastian. I am no longer in need of your assistance, leave." He said, drinking the rest of his tea.

"Yes, my lord." the butler said with a bow. Ciel stared at the food on the cart.

Ciel rolled it towards the door opening it he pushed it out and left it in the short hallway. Shutting his door he walked toward his bed, blowing out the candles as he went. Stopping by the bed side he finished his buttons before climbing and making himself comfortable under the covers. He laid down on his side curling up in to a ball. Maybe I won't wake up this time, he thought. Closing his eyes he embraced sleep when she came.

Ciel stood in a thick fog, he couldn't see two feet in front of him. His body was uncomfortably cold, looking down he realized that he was still dressed in his night shirt. Where the hell am I? Ciel thought getting angry.

"My lord, what are you doing here?" There in front of him was Sebastian.

"I would tell you if I knew where the bloody hell I was?!" Ciel yelled. He was pissed, trapped in a thick fog with the man who wanted his head on a silver platter. That's when it hit him. He was in a nightmare. His angry dissolved and his face broke out into smile. Ciel could see the confusion on the older demons face so he thought he would tell dream Sebastian what he was happy about.

"You know, my nightmares are never this tame. If I do say so, I quite enjoy this one." With his smile still in place, he began to walk around with dream Sebastian following.

"My lord if I may. What are your nightmares usually about?" He asked walking behind his master. Looking down at the ground Ciel told him.

"They usually began with me in a cage held captive by that cult. I'm ten years old again then you know, the torture begans. The bone breaking beatings, then I'm held down and the men have their way with me." Ciel looks up at Sebastian through the corner of his eyes. His jaw is clenched, but he couldn't see his eyes they were hidden by his bangs. Probably thinking about how disgusting I am, the earl thought to himself.

"When that parts over, I'm covered in blood, cum and tears then they brand me, but instead of them sacrificing me to their 'God' and summoning you I'm stuck back into the cage and it repeats itself... You know by the end of the dream and I wake up... it... still feels like... they're touching me. Sometimes when I'm alone... or we are in the carriage... and its quite I swear... I still hear them panting in my ear, telling me how good I feel around them." Ciel says quietly his lips quivering as his eyes tear up. He looks up at Sebastian and the butler looks sad and like he wanted to comfort the boy. Those emotions...They aren't real, Sebastian why do I torture myself so?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gabbing his gut Ciel kneeled down on the ground laughing at his own faults and disappointment.

"Oh Sebastian... I am such a disgusting creature... Here we are in my mind and I am still wishing you would love me. Wishing you would care for me." Ciel says looking up at his butler. Sebastian met his eyes before quickly kneeling in front of him. Grabbing his smaller hands in his larger glove covered ones.

"My lord, I do care about you, more than you'll ever know." Ciel smiled at him sadly.

"No you don't, and it hurts my chest when I think of the truth. Sometimes I wonder if you would kill me one day. That what I laughed about earlier when you brought dinner. I thought you might have put some kind of demon poison in it. " He giggled at his own thought, while dream Sebastian looked horrified.

"Is-Is that why you didn't eat it?" He asked quietly. Ciel giggled again.

"No. I didn't eat it because I don't eat anymore Sebastian." The dream butler looked confused.

"What do you mean? I saw you eating food earlier today in town."

"You're right. I swallowed it, but I haven't been able to keep anything down for a while now." Ciel says quietly.

"I'm dying Sebastian. I just know it." He says looking up at Sebastian with a somber smile.

"You're not going to die Ciel. Do you understand me?" Sebastian's tone sounded scared yet also reassuring.

"Yes, Sebastian you say that, but you're not the real Sebastian. You are just a figment of my imagination. The real Sebastian is probably already ordering my coffin, but I wish you were the real Sebastian, you are a lot nicer then he his. Even if you are just my imagination." Ciel looked down at the ground before he laid down on his back. The sky was also covered in fog. The mist was seeping into his shirt but he no longer felt cold.

"Young master it's time to wake up." Sebastian said standing up. With a sigh Ciel closed his eyes and began feeling himself wake up.

Opening his eyes he was back in the hotel room, but Sebastian wasn't there. Sitting up Ciel thought about his dream. I really wish Sebastian was nice again, but that isn't going to happen considering that he hates me for being the meal that got away. Slipping out of his warm bed, he walked towards the out his favorite dark green shorts,black button up shirt, black boxers and the matching green over coat. He began unbuttoning his shirt letting it fall down his arms and on to the floor. Walking to his connected bathroom he faces the floor length mirror. His body is the same pale color,his eyes huge and mismatched, even though he wasn't eating his body didn't look like that of an anorexic patient. He just looked thin just not unnaturally thin, or he was going to break if you touched him thin.

Beginning his morning ritual was fine till he heard a knock about the bedroom door. I'll ignore it, he thought. Pulling his jacket on he turned when the bathroom door opened and Sebastian walked in.

"What are you doing in here? I didn't call you, you have no reason to be here. Get out." Ciel stated coldly.

"My lord, I know you haven't been able to eat lately. I have come to give you a check up." Sebastian said quietly, he sounded sad. Ciel was shocked first at his tone then, at his words.

"Well Sebastian I will tell you what. Stop your idiotic game of feelings. I am fine. So my body isn't reacting well to human food. I feel fine. Hell i haven't felt better. So bug off till i call you." Ciel says looking the demon in his eyes. Red ruby and blue sapphire. Then before the young earl could think his shirt and jacket was ripped open and he was pushed up against the wall.

"I am trying to help you my lord. If you don't want my help I could careless but I won't let you die for your foolishness. Now hold still while excaminate you. " Sebastian took a small step backwards allowing the young boy room away from him. Kneeling down in front of his master Sebastian moved his hands around the lord's stomach and chest.

"It's what I thought. Your body no longer needs the human food so it's rejecting it. You need souls and blood. Demon blood to be exact my lord. You should began feeding immediately." Sebastian spoke standing up. Souls, blood? Ciel's mind was running around in circles. He wanted to help me?

"What do you take me for an idiot!?" Ciel screamed at the older demon. "I'm not going to do anything you say! You could be trying to kill me!" Ciel was angry and hurt. Why does he lie? Why can't he just say he wants me to leave him alone? Why must he try to kill me?

"My lord what are you saying? I'm not lying to you, I am simply looking out for your well being." Sebastian said firmly trying to make sure his master knew he wasn't going to deceive him.

"You know what, you bastard." Ciel said looking at the demon with a sinister smile that the devil would have been jealous of. "I have an order for you, Sebastian. You are to leave me the hell alone and you are not to approach me, unless i give you the order. So stay the fuck away from me, till I call you. Now LEAVE! " Ciel screamed pointing his finger at the door. Sebastian looked shocked and hopeless.

"My lord please, you don't understand." Sebastian began.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ciel screamed again, this time Sebastian listened. He stood, and walked backwards towards the door, then he clenched his jaw and left. Ciel was panting with anger, his contract eye burned.

"He's gone. He's gone. HAHAHAHAHA!" Ciel began to laugh like insane person. No more memories, no more feelings. No more Sebastian. The thought was like a dagger to his heart. No more Sebastian. His laughing soon became crying. His eyes welled up with tears, sliding down the wall he put his head in his hands, balling his eyes out.

"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone." He whispered into his hands, liquid diamonds dropping from his face. Now Sebastian will be happy, he won't have to deal with me. The tears kept coming. Soon they stopped and he gave dry sniffles, he was so tired. Dragging his body up he shed the rest of his ruined coat and shirt, making his way to the bedroom. Sliding into the bed his sore eyes slipped shut and he was asleep.

Once again he was in the fog. Why am I back here?

"My lord you have returned. I didn't think you would, not with what you said earlier." Sebastian said quietly walking towards his half dressed master. Ciel's eyes were swollen from crying, his pale face held tear tracks.

"My lord, why did you make me leave you? I told you last night, and today that I want to help you, that I care for you." Sebastian voice held pain but Ciel didn't care. Why did I make you leave? He thought.

"I made you leave because it was for the best. You needed to leave." Ciel said quietly refusing to look at the older man.

"You need me though, Ciel. You need me to survive. A young demon, like you, it not meant to be abandon like this. My lord please allow me to come back. You need my blood and I need to teach you how to feed-"

"Sebastian enough. This is how it was supposed to be. I'm supposed to die. I was supposed to die sometime ago." Ciel's expression was somber.

"I hope your happy now young master, because without me you are sure to die. How are you going to do anything? Where will you go? You can't go back to the manor, they think you're dead. You most definitely can't travel by yourself it isn't safe. There are demons out there just waiting to get their hands on a newborn demon. They're dangerous, they'll either kill you or worst make you a slave for their own pleasures. You are my charge and I should be there to help you." Sebastian began to pace and worry about the safety of his young master.

"You, Sebastian, are just wonderful. Even in my dreams you are so amazing. But your worries are not important. You act like if someone finds me the world will explode. You have naught to worry about. I am not afraid to die and it wouldn't be the first time my body was used for such acts." Sebastian stopped pacing and looked appalled at his master's lack of fear.

"I shall travel more though, Sebastian. If you are so afraid, then remember this, I am Ciel Phantomhive, Her Majesty's watch dog. It will take a lot to break me." Ciel flashed his imaginary butler a smirk. Sebastian was confused at this sudden change of attitude from his master, but he still smiled at the truth of the words. The young earl was no longer going to let anything get to him. He was no whiny child, he was the king of this chess match and that is how he will act.

"Now Sebastian, I believe I have been asleep for a while. I must awaken and think about where it is I will be going. Till then, there is something I wanted to you to know," Now Ciel looked a little abashed and stared down at the mist covered ground.

"Sebastian, I, um, I love you..." He said quietly. Sebastian's face broke out in a giant smile.

"As I love you Ciel, And don't you worry I shall watch over you forever. Just call my name and I shall be at your side." The demon said walking to the young demon and raising his head to look at him. Ciel was happy his imaginative Sebastian was so nice to him.

"Goodbye Sebastian." Ciel whispered.

**Hey everyone I was wondering if this story should be longer or if you guys were happy with the one shot. Love to hear from you so let me know multi or one chapter**


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